Ok so it's about 8:15AM and I finally get a seat on the train (after standing for a strong 45 minutes). I plop my behind down and settle into my seat. I reach for my IPod, shut it off and reach into my bag for my book "The Last Playboy" (great book by Shawn Levy) . So I start reading and all of a sudden a quick scent of 5 day old shit crumbs reaches my nose. I was startled and looked around with a complete panic face. The smell went away quickly and I went back to my read.

Then 5 minutes later I hear the lady next to me yawn and the stench immediately hit me again. I jumped up. My eyes got watery and I shed a tear. I noticed the lady's breath was the culprit. For the remainder of the trip I could not concentrate. The fact that a person can have such horrible hygiene left me very puzzled. Dental floss anyone? I mean at minimum a person should brush their teeth when they wake up in the morning. Did she forget this time? I should;ve passed her the number to my dental hygenist. Oh well, se la vi!

I woke up this morning with ideas popping in my head. Things that I want to do finally looking and feeling so real. Ideas on how to reach my goals, very much present. Then I asked myself "What will you do today to get a step closer to them?" Hmm...

I know I'm gonna have to shake some shit up. Get out of my shell and go for them DREAMS, even if they seem a bit far fetched. I decided that my first step is to create a resume. No... not your typical run of the mill resume. I'm talking about an interactive, vivid and imaginative expression of who I am that will hopefully blow away the recipient and get me in a position that I have only dreamed of.

If all goes according to plan I will be cheesing my ass off (much like my homie to the right) doing what I love under the wing of one of my most respected role models. See ya on top!

I am accountable for everything that happens to me. That is my new method of thinking for at least the next 24 hours. Reason being everything happens because you make a series of choices that lead to that thing taking place. Placing the blame of what happened on something or someone else is irresponsible.

Everything I do, say, act on, etc... are choices. I don't HAVE to do anything. The tricky part is owning up to what happens and not letting myself feel as though that particular circumstance is someone or something else's fault. Making my word count and following through with this will be tough for me. Because I'm agreeing to something without

The power to face yourself and take responsibility for everything that you play victim over is mind blowing. That single handedly could be a way to reach a whole new plateau in life. Focusing that time and energy on learning from the choices that created whatever happened to you can only evolve you into a more intelligent being on so many different levels.

I am very excited right now! I feel like my life is entering a new phase. Just can't quite put my finger on it what that is. I know it is definitely GOOD! Till next time home skizzles...

I began a journey yesterday. Not a journey like "I'm on my way to my cousin's house in Far Rockaway, I'll be back next week." More like a journey within me; something of a metamorphosis, if you will. I decided to take a risk and sign up for a workshop that centers on my personal dynamic. If what I have witnessed in my friend is true (and believe me, it sure as hell seemed like it) I should have a very different perspective on myself, my goals and my life! Pretty profound, I know.

You see yesterday I had no idea what to expect. I walked into the building where this workshop was being held and waited. Meanwhile through my mind were these mixed emotions and ideas. "Well, what if this thing really does work. It could unlock a whole new reality for me." "I may finally be able to move forward and have the consistency to make all these great ideas I have become true to life." That was me being my traditional seeing the glass half full self. Then on the other side of my brain I said to myself "Self, you may have just lost out on $500 and aren't even going to get a T-Shirt to show for it."

I joined the workshop to grow and learn more deeply about who I am. So far I see that I am built in a way that makes me want to always be right, avoid situations that make me feel uncomfortable, not to mention always fall victim to procrastination. It is very disappointing to face these realities, but now that I know they exist I am committed to making them change for the better. I don't want to be "stuck in a rut" anymore.

I've noticed that I've been holding back a significant part of me in my relationship. It's not fair to her. I shouldn't cheat her out of knowing all of who I am. Without my 100% commitment my dream of marrying her and living the vows that I will take will be hypocritical. Tonight is the second installment of my basic workshop. I expect tonight to be a memorable evening. I'll check in tomorrow to update my progress.

Things happen all too suddenly sometimes. Never did I know how quickly life can pitch you the illest of curveballs until most recently.

I had an uncle. Now this uncle wasn't your garden variety uncle he was actually pretty popular in his circle. He had a fun loving spirit, positive attitude and an amazing sense of humor. Its no wonder that when he died this past Memorial Day (how fitting, right) it seemed like the entire town where he lived came out to his wake and funeral to pay there respects. I mean granted I knew he was special (not like the little yellow school bus), but had no idea that he was so popular that his death was broadcasted round the world. Many major publications ran his tragic story.

When it came time to bury him I was in a state of confusion. One half of me was proud and appreciative of this man who touched the lives of so many in 46 short years. The other half of me was angry, because he was just now gaining ground in a career he loved so much.

Its amazing how one day you're alive and everything is regular. You're just a normal shmo with a pretty regular job. Then you die and you are like this hero and are treated like royalty by so many imortant people. All of that helps. It helps ease the pain. It helps me to remember all those great moments we shared.

Here's to you J.P. Villaman for being all you wanted to be in your few years. Although I am a Yankee until my final out, and was EXTREMELY PIST THE HELL OFF when the BoSox crushed my Yankees I was and still am truly happy that you were able to be apart of the 2004 World Championship Boston Red Sox.

"Rather than mourn the absence of the flame, I will celebrate how brighty it glowed."

SOCOM 2 is God's gift to MAN! Not for nothing folks. But this game has got to be the best thing ever. In the last two nights I have risen about 6-8 spots in my clan (team). That may mean nothing to you, but to me it means a whole lot to me!

Peep game... Among my clanmates there are currently 3 of us that are pretty tight outside of the game. All of our significant others are infuriated at the crazy amount of time we spend glued to our TV sets playing this game. So much so that I firmly believe they will soon come together and establish the WAS (Women Against SOCOM) clique.

So if you can play SOCOM, do well in it and balance a relationship you are INCREDIBLE. I'm trying, but damn! The addiction is crazy.

Hasta la next Blog!

Yesterday I was driving, right. And then I see this old head in the car next to me eyeing my car. I'm thinking this fool must have lost his mind if he thinks he's going to do something to my car. So I stare at the guy then I see him pull up a tad bit ahead of me and he focuses his attention on my front license plate. At that point I knew what the deal was. Then he turns to his passenger and begins to laugh hard as hell.

You know why he was laughing? Well, I have vanity plates on my car that read BIGJUICY, guess he must've imagined what that meant, ha ha! Till next blog.

Did you know that there is a 24 hour post office on 33rd and 8th? Well I do! You see I had to use that somama*itch lastnight to mail some baked goods my Mrs. and I baked to send as gifts to our friends and family. The race was on because if we didn't send the goods before too long they would perish! To make a long story short we sent our packages and don't have to deal with those anymore. However, that doesn't mean that my holiday shopping is done, oh no, that would be too ideal! I still have 5 gifts to go and only enough $ for 2... you figure it out! It's gonna be some serious effing drama, trust me!